Gift of Christmas (ie Santa Claus)
Our behavior, our reactions to the facts of life, our emotions that we are characterizing the result of early experiences that hit you and you formed in the early years.
For vicissitudes of the family, I lived in 'childhood with his grandparents, along with grandparents, these two sons, my uncles, older than me and that ultimately were the idols of my comrades and be children. The grandparents had a stationery business in the country; store full of pencils, pens, notebooks and books. I often wandered among the shelves, and piles of school supplies. Of course, these toys were also given at that time there were no large shopping malls, the store was the place where you could see objects of your dreams. He also witnessed the ordination of the material in advance, as any good shop, the seasons were still very early, and the material was ordered Christmas in summer than in spring. Living in this environment of school supplies made me learn right away the issues of trade, opening and closing hours, reservations, sales and the classic "note", the earliest of times to the modern-rate loan "zero".
At the same time was like living in the world of toys, because child as having all children see packs of rifles, pistols, toy soldiers, toy cars were easy to express desires with the most classic of letters to "Santa Claus".
A special Christmas memory today, I had seen a particular gun the colt as the legendary Wild West, I loved to death, she was beautiful, with the kick that seemed enormous, and the trigger all chrome.
was the object of my desires. The viewer with dreamy eyes every day waiting for the classic Christmas Day. Diligently on the letter I described the gun of my dreams, beautiful shiny silver with the trigger like the one that is in the shop window of her grandmother, (my grandmother was the stationery rather than the grandfather).
finally arrived that year 's Christmas and I still remember the anxiety of waiting the day at lunchtime, when I already knew that the front entrance door to the sound of the bell I found a package inside with the legendary gun (it was the custom of the house grandmother for Christmas).
Living regularly in contact Anymore (grandparents and uncles), I was too shrewd, I now understand that Santa was not a true gentleman, and that much more realistic about the Santa Claus was the uncle who was to take the best gift at the right time in the world.
Finally it's time for lunch and before you all sit down at the table here is the bell, I rush to the door open and there is a package, a box, everything as expected, Santa Claus I was happy, happy at the height ; open ... and disappointment disappointments is not mythical gun!
There was another toy that does not even remember, and my despair seems to have been a roar of time, not because I had began to cry, no, but because my face must have all worried, mother, uncles, grandparents and especially my grandmother.
Great they talk, I despair with the broken heart I do not know what to do, is mortally wounded I do not know what to say, think, shout or shut up. His grandfather had taught me that you should never complain, and then I carefully pushed back the tears back, my face was a mask of pain. The uncle spoke, that had happened when you pick up the gun from the window, a man introduced himself (we say today that for the last time) he was looking for a gift for his son, and had found a nice idea that shiny pistol polished. My uncle had thought to do the sale, not thinking at all to his nephew, who was waiting for so that your pistol. Store the rest as you could order another piece, what was the problem?
So it went, grandparents and uncles were also speaking, because after I was taken by the wholesaler supplier, even in person to see and choose the gun, of course, that same gun was gone, many other models were available but not that one, and in fact I was caught in another, perhaps even more beautiful, but not one that I had cherished, looked for so long.
I think this was the episode I did learn painfully what patience, what is to be disappointed and what is "not to complain." I think it was the moment when I realized that no matter how much you want one thing, the life you will always have something different, perhaps similar, but always different from what you immagni and dreams.
I was a child at that time but I think it started my journey to the difficulties, and perhaps it was the prelude to all the difficulties that I met and was the school that now leads me to say patience.
Patience when something goes wrong, patience when something is not exactly like the dreams, patience when you do not get what you feel right, patience when life presents you the bill, patience when I am consumed in and you can not do anything to change, patience when you're feeling bad and nobody can do anything, patience when someone you love hurts you , patience when you do not find what you want and are looking desperately. Never mind the words of my life from that day he beat the shots of my heart.
I am unable to say whether it was a good lesson or a bad example that Christmas, in fact it was my reality, which I brought in until the days of the Internet, shopping centers, department Megastore, galleries of assorted super stores, the wonderful catalogs. But especially to the days when feelings emotions, desires and dreams present, as in that Christmas Day, shall be deposited in waiting to see an outcome, a turning point, a result, now as then there's anxiety to hear that bell door, anxious to hear it and rush to see what's there, what has arrived, and of course there is the fear of ancient origins, the terror of seeing to empty all the desires and illusions, fear of finding opening the door, something that is not as hoped and desired.
Days when you dream you want and then as now, that day, despite the "modernism" have the same things forty years ago, the same situation of a child who dreams and wants what it sees as a beautiful object and indispensable, and are days when the man feels inside when he sees what is missing and there in a beautiful display case: his dream.
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